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| This is actually yesterday's thought, but I was too tired to post it.
To begin, I must introduce you to my new friend, John. John is a regular in Louisville. Now, by that, I do not just mean that he is a regular at my new store in Louisville (although, he is that, too). John is known by all who live in Louisville. He and his bike find him at the grocery store, 7-11, various restaurants, and shops. At Starbucks, you can often find him sitting outside waiting for any hint that someone might need the door opened. As soon as you make movements toward it, he is out of his seat and there, door wide open for you.
John is sweet and often brings us candy or donuts. He has even brought me flowers. I suspect that John is in his fifties. He always behaves himself, but in the way that you would imagine a little boy, about six, would behave himself on his best and most charming of days. His mental abilities are fragmented and simple.
I'm assuming that most people, upon meeting John, think that he is the only homeless man in Louisville. He is not homeless, I have discovered. The story is that he lives with his brother in town. The rest of the story is that he once had a family, a great job as an engineer, and a house of his own. It is generally known that John was in two car accidents. It is unclear as to which one happened first, or in which he lost much of his mental faculties. One of them, I know included his grandmother. She was killed. The other, his wife and daughter. They were both killed. The rumor is, that John, since which ever happened last, has not gotten back into a car since.
When you look into the face of this sweet man, you may not notice the signs alluding to his story. You may just see a shabby man who talks a lot. But when you begin to see John alive, loving people, and then you hear pieces of his story...if you're me...it teaches you something about God.
Yesterday, John reminded me that he was created. That he was intentionally crafted and loved. That he was blessed by God with the gift of a generous spirit, and that, for some reason, God took away some very precious things. And yet...here he is. A man who wakes each day and, in his childlike manor, serves the people around him.
I have to run...I'm going to be late to hang out with Anne Marie and the kids.
me | | |
| It's been so long since I wrote a blog entry here that it took me a while to figure out how.
I just started reading a book called "Experiencing God". I was forewarned that the author may, at times, not share the same view of God that I hold or approach to Scripture as I take. The advice was sound, but God i using this man's journey to teach me in mine. The Church in function.
Anyway, the end of the first chapter begs, "...take the time to worship God as you have come to know Him."
When I started thinking about ways in which God has chosen to reveal himself to me, this is the big one that stands out today. "God is knowing."
I have sat with this psalm of David many, many times, and felt (so to speak) God's arms around me. "Yahweh, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. You scrutinize my path and my lying down, and are intimately acquainted with all my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue, behold, Yahweh, You know it all...How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. When I awake, I am still with You."
God, who has known me. Known my sin. The deepest. The darkest. "He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him." He knows me, and yet...He did that.
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| Sheldon, a friend and now co-worker, was working with me the other day. We were also working with a "borrowed partner" or an employee from another store that is subbing. We, Sheldon and I, were trying to get to know him and then the tables turned and he started asking about me. Without knowing where to start, I asked Sheldon, "What should Jeff know about me?"
Sheldon than began his introduction of me by describing me as a "neo Christian". What does that mean? In Sheldon's eyes, it meant, "loving, compassionate, thoughtful, challenging, and unwilling to accept the societal norms without questioning". Since when should that be described as "neo Christianity"?
What have we come to as a church when Sheldon really believes that I stick out that much? Is it a good thing? I don't know, but I know that a lot of people have made him to feel alien...a lot of people have failed to love him. I'm learning that the Church has fallen short in the lives of several. My store is full of broken people, most of whom feel rejected by the Church. Interesting that I was just praying for God to show me where my ministry was.
Anyway...the question to you: What does "neo" mean?
me | | |
| O Yahweh, you're paying attention...
You know everything I do from the moment I think my first thought to the subconscious even I am unaware of...
You understand me and my quirky thoughts...
You pay attention to the details of my life, the path I walk, even the breaks I take...
You know what I'm going to say before I say it...
Whether I believe it or not, You know everything...
You protect me, guarding me always...
Understanding why or how is not for me, but I can't help but wonder still...
You are everywhere and I cannot run away from you...
Even when I am in the darkest place, You are there...
When I take on the wings of my dreams and I am soaring high, You are there, too...
Leading me...
Your Son holding me the entire time...
Even when I get scared and feel overwhelmed, what is it to you...
My greatest fears, my biggest woes, they are nothing to You...
You shaped me, formed all the little details, sculpting out every bone when I was still in my mother's womb...
I will give thanks to You for Your craftsmanship, intentional and beautiful...
Everything You do is amazing and in my heart, I am certain of that...
My life was never a mystery to You...
Even before the twinkle in my mom's eye, You were crafting me...
You have seen everything...
Your eyes have seen the pieces which are still developing...
It is You who knows what lies ahead and what is behind...
Every details, every step, every folly, ever joy...
You knew them all before a single had passed...
How incredible it is to think that You take notice of me...
So much so that I could not count Your thoughts of me...
When I wake up, You're still there...
(skipping a few verses)
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way."
Psalm 139 | | |
| Wow...March. April has come and gone. May, where did it go? Here it is, June, and I'm posting again. I guess it has been a while.
For the record, you might also find occasional posts at http://blog.myspace.com/StorchHasMe. I didn't realize how long it had been since I posted here because I also randomly post things there. That is neither here, nor there, but a side note before I begin my real reason for this entry.
David Letterman has his top ten and they usually revolve around one topic. My top ten are reasons for SOMETHING. Not as coherent or entertaining, but it will somehow communicate a piece of my reality at the moment.
Top ten reasons why...
1. The reason I get so mad at Elizabeth Elliot, desiring only to throw "Passion and Purity" across the room, is because some of what she says is dead on and I don't want to deal with it.
2. The reason I need sleep is because my brain stops functioning as it should, usually causing me to make stupid mistakes and shut down emotionally.
3. The reason I needed to go back to my old church (one of them, anyway) is because I needed to be reminded of who I was, who I had become, and move forward toward who God is shaping me out to be in light of both of those realities.
4. The reason I love Germany (a theory presented today, anyway) so much is because the vast majority of it's people make me look mild and gentle, where some American's find me abrasive and tactless.
5. The reason I blog is because most of my readers have already realized that what I communicate should always be taken with a grain of salt and my entries are often half caulked thoughts rather than actual attempts to communicate concrete ideas.
6. The reason I bought a car (a 2002 Honda Civic) is because my scooter got stolen.
7. The reason I use sarcasm is often to protect myself from getting hurt...stupid defense mechanisms.
8. The reason I am writing number 8 is because I'm running out of things to say that you don't need to know anyway.
9. The reason I love spending time with Silas is because he likes me and there is little room for questioning that when he comes running at you, arms wide open, with a big toothy grin saying, "Book, book..."
10. The reason I am done wasting your time is really because I shouldn't procrastinate any longer. I need sleep or I will be cranky all week.
Good night.
me | | |
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